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[brokenrecord]

So, I've come to realize that this show is seriously just about breaking Brian. I mean, seriously. I mean, I haven't compared everything that happens to him to the other characters, but it seems like so much more shit happens to him than anyone else: his dad dies (which, ok, he didn't like his dad, but he's still his dad and it still affected him), Justin gets bashed, Justin leaves him for Ethan, loses his job and all his money (well, he comes back from that, but still), his fucking testicular cancer, breaking his collarbone on the bike ride, getting syphillis, Justin dumping him a second time, the explosion which nearly killed Michael and could've killed Justin, the wedding being broken off and Justin leaving for New York. I mean, seriously. It just seems like one thing after another.

Anyways, thoughts I wrote down while watching the show. Some are general and some are episode specific.

1. 102 - Ah! I totally didn't realize they played "Sleep" in this episode! Well, I remember first finding the song when watching the screener version of 511 (I think it wasn't in the aired version, but I absolutely love its use in the screener) so I wouldn't have recognized it when watching 102.

2. 103 - I kind of love Blake now, even though he puts Ted in a coma. I mean, it helps that I know that Blake becomes a decent guy and cleans up and ends up with Ted in the finale. So watching it again makes me like him more. And I think he really did like him, maybe even love him in the later season 1 episodes. But when you're an addict, it doesn't really matter how much you love someone. From how far he was gone, he had to get rehab before he could really be ok, and he wasn't ready for it in 122. So yeah, I get why he did the things he did in season 1, and I'm glad he was finally able to get help and clean up and be the perfect guy for Ted.

3. When I started watching again from the beginning, I had totally forgotten about the Michael voiceover. I mean, I remembered it in 101, but I didn't realize it went on several episodes and that it popped up again I think in like 201. So it was weird when I was starting 102 and 103 and I was like "wtf? I don't remember this!"

4. 105 - I kind of actually like David a lot in this episode. No wonder I actually shipped Michael/David more than Brian/Justin at this point first time around. I mean, first time around, Michael was my favorite character (actually, I shipped Michael/Brian for the first half of the season). And then I grew to like David less through the season, and especially after he cheated on him, and then I met Ben and came to truly love him, so now I like David even less and find him creepy and I'm so glad they broke up. But even now knowing how much I dislike him, I find him to be kind of cute and sweet in 105.

5. 114 - I think this was the first point I truly loved Justin. I mean, this time through I loved him from the start, but first time through I kind of hated him. Well, not hate, but be really annoyed me. But I think this was the turning point for me, with him tricking Kip into nearly sleeping with him and then breaking it to him that he's underage and he'd call his father on him if he didn't back down on the lawsuit against Brian. I love it when Justin does things like that.

6. 122 - Still absolutely wrecks me.

7. I didn't realize how much love I have for the beginning of season 2. I mean, the first four episodes are really just good. 201 has Justin's return and everything that comes with that (and finding out that Brian went to the hospital every fucking night), 202 has Brian and Daphne trying to help Justin remember everything, 203 has Justin walking alone to get to Brian through the crowd, 204 is pride which is just completely awesome. They're just really great episodes.

8. 206 - Ben and Michael's first meeting is pretty freaking adorable.

9. 214 - I really loved George and his death sucks. :( I think my favorite Emmett pairing is with George. I mean, George just really truly loved Emmett, and Emmett felt the same way about him. I hate that he died.

10. 215 - As much as I hate George's death, Emmett's speech to George at the porn star awards thing is pretty much the best thing ever. So sweet.

11. It's kind of funny how Justin's the one to break all the rules he and Brian have. He kisses and has sex with not only one other guy but two, where Brian never does.

12. Why does everytime Melanie and Lindsay break up have to be because of someone else? I mean, for that matter, why do they cheat on each other so much? Ok, it's not that much, but it seems significantly more than any other couple (excluding Brian and Justin's fucking around on each other, but I don't really count that as cheating). There's that woman Melanie's friends with in season 1 she sleeps with, there's Sam in season 4 that Lindsay sleeps with. Even in season 2 they both sleep with that woman that was staying at their house (blah forgot her name)! Not so much cheating, but still sleeping with someone else. It's just kind of ridiculous, I think. I wish they could find other problems for them to have.

13. 217 - I've always hated it in movies/TV/books when one person in a relationship has to work or has some important commitment relating to their job and can't see the other person in the relationship and so that other person gets all pissed off. It's just irritating to me. I mean, I can understand it maybe if it's all the time, but Brian chose his job over Justin once. And, I mean, he was right! He was in danger of losing his job! If he lost his job, he wouldn't be able to go on trips with Justin because he wouldn't have enough money to. Obviously keeping his job comes before going on vacation with Justin. It's not like he blew it off because he had to screw some guy or something.

14. I think season 3 has the only truly happy Brian and Justin finale. I mean, you could say season 4 does, but Justin is going off to L.A. for like 6 months, so it's still not totally happy. Season 1 obviously has the bashing, 2 has Justin leaving Brian, and 5 has Justin going to New York. Season 3 seems to be the only finale that's really, truly happy for them.

15. 301 - Michael's rage at Justin over the Brian/Justin break-up is so fucking ridiculous. He totally deserved Brian punching him. Ugh, I totally hate Michael in this episode.

16. I think part of the reason I'm not much of a fan of Ted/Emmett is that it just seems so contrived. I'd like it better if it was slowly built up, but it's just... one day all of a sudden Ted's like "OMG I'M IN LOVE WITH EMMETT!" and then he acts ridiculous for an episode and Emmett's all "wtf I don't love you" and then five seconds later he's all "WAIT A SECOND I TOTALLY DO! LET'S BE LOVERS!" and then they're together and all lovey-dovey. I don't know, it just seems to come out of nowhere. I'd rather Ted's feelings for Emmett like slowly build up. I don't know, something to make it more believable.

17. Hee! I didn't watch The Daily Show before I saw Queer as Folk the first time, so I totally didn't know that Jason Jones played one of Stockwell's advisory people in season 3. That totally cracked me up to realize where I recognized him from.

18. 306 - I kind of love that Daphne clearly prefers Brian for Justin over Ethan. No wonder I love her so much.

19. 308 - This might just be my favorite episode. I mean, it's really hard to compare with episodes like 122 and 510, but those episodes just kind of break me too much. 308 is just so happy. Plus, it's Hunter's first episode, Daphne's in it, and did I mention the totally awesome B/J-ness? It's just such a fun episode.

20. I like Lindsay and Melanie when they're together, but whenever they're apart I kind of hate them. Well, not so much Lindsay, but definitely Melanie. No wonder I hate everytime they break-up. I mean, especially because you know they're definitely getting back together again, it's just a matter of when.

21. 309 - Brian and Justin at the beginning is just about the best thing ever. sigh.

22. I think season 3 is just my favorite season. Seriously. It's hard to compare with seasons 1 and 2 because it's so much shorter, but I think the shortness kind of works to their benefit. It helps focus the storylines a little more, I think. Even with the first seven episodes with Brian and Justin apart, there's some great Brian/Justin interaction, and it's so worth it for them getting back together. Plus, I really like the Stockwell storyline. So yeah, I'm pretty sure season 3 is my favorite season.

23. 313 - "He's your boyfriend?" / "In a non-defined, unconventional way, yeah." Oh, Brian. I just love that line, so much.

24. 314 - I cannot stop grinning when watching this episode. Just makes me so freaking happy.

25. For some reason the first time around I hated Justin's long hair, but this time I actually really liked it. I like it shorter, too, though. Not the buzz cut, but around how long it gets at like Vic's funeral is good, and by the season 4 finale.

26. I like the Ted/Mel friendship for some reason. They just kind of fit well together.

27. 406 - Vic's death is so fucking pointless. I don't understand why they had to kill him off.

28. God I love Blake and Ted. They're pretty much my second OTP for the show. I hate that they had to break up up 407, but I understand why. Their timing was just always so off. First Blake was an addict and wasn't ready to seek help, then Ted was recovering from being an addict and couldn't be with Blake because he was his counselor. I'm glad they finally found each other at the right time.

29. 407 - Brian blowing up at Justin is so sad, and Justin thinking it's all his fault. :( Whenever Brian gets so angry that he yells is pretty scary, because usually he keeps such control over his emotions.

30. 408 - I think I really like Debbie with Horvath. I mean, he started off kind of badly, but he came to be more open and accepting, and he clearly really loves Debbie. I'm glad that after they broke up, they got back together again.

31. God, the 4th season is so depressing!

32. 408 - I fucking hate Michael for telling Justin not to tell Brian that he knew about him having cancer, and then going around and telling him anyways. Most of the time I'm ok about Michael, but it's moments like these that make me truly hate him.

33. I kind of love Emmett and Drew. Drew was an asshole to Emmett at the beginning, but I think he really loved Emmett, and he was finally able to come out. I understand why he kissed that other guy and why they had to break up. I just wish they had moved the storyline up. Like, in 501 Drew could've come back and had the same problem with the guy and the pictures and stuff and the storyline could've moved a little faster and they could be broken up again pretty early in the season, and then he could come back in the finale ready for a relationship. sigh. In my mind, whatever Emmett had with the guy from Hazelhurst was just a fuck and Drew came back to him and they lived happily ever after.

34. 410 - I love Debbie and Brian's relationship, and her reaction to his cancer.

35. 410 - I wish they had dealt with Lindsay being bi, because she so is. I mean, I hate that she was always just "I'M A LESBIAN OMG I'M A LESBIAN". I mean, she was clearly attracted to Sam and had sex with him, and she always kind of had something for Brian. Not like Michael did at the beginning of season 1, but she did sleep with him in college, and there was that moment in the episode where they were pretending to be married where she was all "Sometimes I thought that this could be us". I think she's pretty clearly bi with a stronger preference for women, but they never really went there, which bothered me. Instead, they just stuck with her being 100% lesbian.

36. 411 - Melanie's outrage at Lindsay sleeping with Sam is kind of ridiculous considering she cheated on Lindsay too in season 1, and Lindsay ended up forgiving her. I mean, she really didn't have any right to be all high and mighty about it.

37. I never noticed all the "Hey Todd's" like in 101 and 501 and a couple other episodes I'm forgetting the first time around, but I noticed this time and it was really amusing.

38. I really, really hate Melanie in early season 5. I think early season 5 is the epitome of my Melanie hate.

39. 506 - Brandon's hotter than I remembered, but still not moreso than Brian.

40. 510 - I seriously start hyperventilating the second they show the benefit starting. And the end of this episode kills me so much. God do I love them.

41. Gus is the cutest kid ever.

42. I love Jennifer. She has so not-so-hot moments, but overall she's pretty freaking awesome.

43. 513 - I love Michael and Ben adopting Hunter more than I can say.

44. 513 - I really don't understand Justin leaving for New York, or why everyone's like "OMG SUCH A BIG SACRIFICE!" that Justin decides to stay with Brian instead of going to New York. It's not like he had a job offer or anything, it was just one freaking good review. Yeah, New York has more opportunities, but it's by no means guaranteed. It just seems ridiculous how everyone talks about it when it's just one freaking article praising Justin, and he's still going to have to work his ass off and he still might not make it as an artist.

44. 513 - God the ending kills me. From Brian and Justin's last scene on, it's just... a really fitting ending. (I'd say a perfect ending, but perfect would be Brian and Justin ending happily together.) I really wanted Brian and Justin to end up together and I'm sad that Justin left for New York, but I in no way believe it's over between them. I said this when I first saw 513, but I want to say it again, because I really believe it. Justin will come back from New York or Brian will open up an office in New York (I mean, he's always wanted to leave and go to New York, hasn't he? He sure was ready to move there in 122) and they'll keep in contact until then and eventually they'll get back together and maybe get married and maybe not, but they'll be together again. I full-heartedly believe that. It just would've been nice for it to end up that way on screen. But I have to say the end at Babylon dancing with Michael and then seeing Michael with Ben, Ted with Blake (Blake!!! :DDD), Emmett with his guy, and Brian dancing alone up there is pretty perfect. And I still ended up grinning when it was over. So yeah, I'm pretty happy with the ending, even if it's not exactly how I wanted it.


Ok, now someone rec me some good post-513 B/J fic. I read a couple right after it aired, but it's been nearly a year since then, so I'm sure a bunch more awesome fic has popped up since then.

I also watched the pilots for Vanished and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

Took me a little while to stop wondering why Gale Harold wasn't cursing and hitting on every hot guy he saw and why he was so fully clothed. The beginning was a bit slow, but it picked up a little ways in and I started getting more interested. I think I'm intrigued for now, and it is Gale Harold after all, so I think I'll keep watching. Plus, there's the actress who played Betty on Dead Like Me, and back when I actually watched ER (when I was like 11 or 12. I only watched it for about a year or so) I remember Ming Na playing one of my favorite characters. It kind of reminds me of Prison Break, but it doesn't have anything like Michael/Sara to keep me excited for it week to week, and I don't think it's as clever. But I think I'll still watch it for a little while.


This one I liked more. Very reminiscent of Sports Night, which I suppose shouldn't surprising since it's the same premise, and they were both created by Aaron Sorkin. It took me a little bit to get into this one as well, but I really enjoyed it. I love the whole behind the scenes of a TV show type show (I love Sports Night, of course, and when I was 12 or 13 I totally loved Grosse Point). Plus, I really love Matthew Perry. The pilot was pretty much just setting up the premise, so I'm really interested to see the next episodes where the show really starts going.


Only a few more days of summer school left, and then I get to go to New York! Kind of sucks that it's August already tomorrow, since that means summer's half over. But I'll be happy to have summer school done with.