Apr. 25th, 2010

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Ok, so I was way more worried and nervous about MUPC than I had to be (but then, I tend to worry unreasonable amounts about absolutely everything, so that's not surprising). It was totally fine. I actually didn't end up being very nervous when I was there in front of my poster answering questions. The people who came by were all very nice and interested in my topic, and they said it was an interesting question and all that, so it made me feel more... validated, I guess, because sometimes when I think about that project I just think it was kind of pointless or not as developed or interesting as a lot of other people's.

Also, one girl stopped by who was on my floor freshman year and became like best friends with my roommate and she was friendly to me for a few weeks and then she just kind of ignored me for the rest of the year and I kind of thought she hated me or at least didn't like me. But she was super friendly and asking questions and stuff, not just about my project but about what I was doing and stuff, and it was really weird. Like, good, but... I'm so self-conscious and critical that I couldn't help thinking "Why are you talking to me? What do you want? Is this some elaborate scheme to make fun of me? Are you pitying me? What is going on?" even though the worst thing she ever did to me was ignore me, and that's probably more to blame on my lack of social skills than on her. And I found out she's taking Understand/Confront Racism next semester like me, which should be interesting. I had another class with her sophomore year and she continued to ignore my existence, so I'm curious to see if that happens again or if she talks to me this time.

This morning, on the other hand, was kind of awful. Ok, it wasn't that bad. But, well, normally I volunteer with a couple of people at a homeless shelter with children on Saturday mornings, but we didn't do it Saturday this week because I had MUPC going on. And this is our last chance to volunteer this semester all together so we went today instead and then went out to lunch afterwards. Except I'm not used to waking up this early on a Sunday, and I stupidly stayed up really late Saturday night, so even though my alarm woke me up at 8 AM, I decided to lie in bed for just a few more minutes, and then of course I fell asleep again and didn't wake up until 8:40. Which meant I had to rush to get dressed and ready and all, and I basically had like 5 minutes to each breakfast, but everything I had would have taken too much time to make and eat. However, one of my roommates made cupcakes yesterday, so I remembered that and was like "ugh I need something to eat" so for breakfast I had a cupcake. Which might sound awesome, except it's really not enough to get you energized or moving or coherent or anything. So I pretty much just felt awful the entire time I was volunteering. I have coffee now, though, and it's awesome.

There have been some recent reports about a 4th season of Chuck not being totally hopeless and the writers/producers/creators/whoever feeling good about coming back, and I kind of wish there weren't this news only because I feel like it's making me too optimistic about it coming back. I had started accepting that this would be end and coming to terms with that and all, but now my hopes are starting to go up again, and I'm afraid there'll be this build-up and then NBC will cancel it (because NBC fails at life. They're probably freaking renew Heroes over Chuck even though Chuck does better critically and in the ratings and Heroes sucks) and it'll suck so much worse than if I had just accepted it being canceled now. blah. (Although maybe NBC will surprise me? No no, still trying not to get my hopes up.) Anyways, on a more positive Chuck-related note, Chuck comes back for the final 6 episodes on Monday! I'm so excited. We finally get to see Chuck and Sarah try to be spies while being in a relationship! Chuck's dad is coming back! Anna is coming back!!! It's going to be awesome.

Doctor Who 5.04 )

Anyways, yesterday I had plans for doing a bunch or research for my final Mood and Anxiety paper and having it outlined and a thesis and everything so I'd be ready to write as much of it as possible today. And then I did nothing. Well done, self. So instead I'm going to do a bunch of research today and hopefully get... idk, 4 pages done? That might be feasible. If I actually start working and don't just procrastinate all day, which is much more likely.


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May 2010

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